About this blog

Hi friends, welcome to Kai Syn’s blog – a digital space where I share musings, dilemmas and what I’ve been up to. Why a blog you ask, when there’s so many other platforms that are so much more trendy and accessible now.

When I was 16, I started a blog via blogspot which feels really ancient now with all the rise of wordpress and squarespace. I can’t exactly remember why I started it. Maybe it was trendy or maybe I was just an angsty teenager who wanted to be cool. Regardless of the reason, it became a consistent outlet for me to make sense of my thoughts and circumstances over the span of 5 years.

Looking back at the musings of my younger self, I can’t help but feel a number of things. A part of me cringes at the embarrassing anecdotes my teenage self dared to publish online and the overall lack of structure and crudeness to my blog entries. Then there’s a part of me that envies my younger self for her ability to express herself without fear of what others may think. She kept on writing through good times and bad.

Then there’s me, 27 and stricken by fear of what others may think of me if I showed any kind of weakness or fault. This fear kept me from writing again for many many years despite how often I set it as a new years resolution. Maybe if I have a worthy story to tell, I’ll write again. Maybe if I find the best web hosting platform, I’ll write again. I kept clinging on to these conditions I set for myself, not knowing that they’ve become a self-made prison.

It would’ve been nice to look back and see what 20 – 26 year old me had on my mind as a young adult navigating life. To revisit my experiences graduating university, volunteering locally and abroad, working with non-profit organizations and more. Heck, I was probably peaking in terms of doing unconventionally cool things like becoming a teacher at an island, taking on a photography apprenticeship and becoming a farmer in New Zealand. I regret not continuing writing back then.

Today, I am inspired by my 16 year old self to write again. To fill in the gaps of time, make sense of the present and hopefully inspire a future self to continue expressing herself.

It is also my hope that this space becomes a companion of sorts for people going through similar experiences in life as myself. It’s easy to feel like everyone has their life together and that you are falling behind when most only share their successes online. During times like this, I find solace and comfort in learning that there are also people out there who are just like me, people who are not quite there yet but nevertheless, hopeful.

So hey, thanks for stopping by and hope to see you around!